What happens if you are spiritually gifted but your partner is not ?
Love and beyond.
It’s love. There is chemistry, amazing connection; you have found your soulmate but that person is not spiritually inclined. So how does a relationship grow if you are spiritually connected, but your partner is not? By the way, I am a spiritual medium. So you understand my dilemma.
Having similar spiritual or religious beliefs may be essential for some couples. Some of my psychic healer friends prefer to date someone spiritually oriented. However, it is not a requirement for me. I just want my partner to respect my beliefs. I don’t discuss my psychic mediumship on the first date. As the relationship progresses, the topic comes up; especially when they see the crystals around my house and the sage scent lingering in the air. Once they understand that I can communicate with spirits, and I have clients who consult me for future predictions, then I come across four personas:
The Skeptic
This guy approaches my abilities with scepticism and usually tests me. He asks me to give a reading or see if his deceased grandmother is around. He even questions my. I have heard everything from “maybe it is your imagination” to “maybe it is a trauma that is showing itself in this way.’ I worked full time at a healing centre and was insured and yet my date saw me as a charlatan. A relationship with this type of guy lacks respect and possibility of an explanation other than their own reasoning. If they questions about your intuition verge on insulting, then I don’t think the relationship will go far.
That’s just basic respect.
The Opportunist
I dated a guy for a few months who was intuitive and into spirituality. He wanted to learn and had a lot of questions. Great! Cute, intelligent and spiritual! I was excited to share spiritual theories and help him develop. He was anxious and kept asking me for readings about everything. Even after we stopped dating. He would send me messages about how he dreamt about something, or he saw 11:11 on his phone and then asked what I got about his situation. I tried to teach him to read Tarot cards and encouraged him to join a development group. Still, all our conversations sounded like a client session. I ended up feeling drained and used for free reading sessions. It was lovely being with someone whom you could discuss all aspects of yourself with, but the relationship was unbalanced. The focus always shifted back to his spiritual inquisitiveness.
I just wanted to go on a romantic date!
The Teacher/Student
The teacher-student relationship is always the most dangerous one that I often find myself falling into. This is where you have done the work on yourself, learnt lessons and understand your soul’s journey. And you meet someone who you love dearly and are aware of their life lessons and the struggle to do the shadow work.
They might not be aware, but you are; you see the bigger picture, and you see your role in it. You are the teacher, showing them the way through the shadow self. Life is full of lessons, and you are helping them, the student, learn.
As a giver, a healer and a teacher you want to be there for them because you know how hard it is, and of course, you are in love. But most of all you see the potential, you see their soul. This keeps you in the relationship, no matter how destructive it may be for your own progress. This is so because you understand and see the lessons in all the arguments, the lies, and hurt.
You might even view it as a test for your growth. It is not suitable for you. But you stay and endure because you feel that deep soul connection until they leave you heartbroken or you lose yourself in their darkness.
I found this type of relationship the most damaging. You try to help, but you end up sacrificing yourself, your life path to help them; in the hopes that in the future you will be together. It is love, and it is a contract, it might even be a lesson for you. But that lesson might be to let go, not to hold on.
Unsure but supportive
THE guy
I don’t know what else to call “him”. He is the average guy with the average amount of relationship baggage. He isn’t spiritual but respectful of what you believe. He might even be a bit intuitive himself, but he will deny it, and just call it gut feel or a lucky guess. He is my current partner. Loving, supportive of my work, but not into this “stuff”. The more time he spends with me, the more observant he becomes. He gets “feelings” about situations and dreams about them. He got an energy healing session by me and felt better, but would never get one from anyone else. He doesn’t mind me burning sage in the house, and one time I even saw him burn some sage (but he claimed it was because he couldn’t find the incense). Whatever his views on spirituality, he is respectful.
Evolving with a partner is essential in any relationship. But if one partner is not spiritually inclined, or growing at a different pace, it is OK. Just allow a supportive environment. I suggest that you include your partner in spiritual discussions, if they are interested, but don’t force it upon them. Every dinner discussion doesn’t need to add you tuning into your guides or tarot cards for advice. Sometimes, the partner just wants your opinion and reactions, not everything has to be associated with a lesson.
I think it is also essential to have your own group of spiritual friends/community so you can deep dive into your spiritual work. Just be careful not to have everyone tune into your relationship. Partners can feel violated if everyone seems to know where they are on their life path and who they were in a past life.
If your partner asks for a reading or a healing, providing it occasionally is fine. But if they want readings or healings frequently, suggest that they find their own spiritual go-to-person. You might be too close to the situation to be objective. If what you say doesn’t happen, they might blame you. Having their own spiritual reader/healer also lessens the risk to fall into the teacher/student dynamic.
Finally, remember that you are both having this human experience together, so allow things to unfold in the way it is meant to. We can consult our guides, the universe, and astrology any time, but we just need to be human to fall in love.
